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3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak

Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (NLT)

  1. Am I doing all the talking?

“When she speaks” indicates that this person is not one who does all the talking but rather waits to speak. She is intentional about her words as well as intentional about listening to others. Often times in a conversation we feel the need to speak and are not comfortable with the pauses or silence in a conversation. However, many people are looking for individuals who will simply listen. Listen attentively. Listen without judgment. Listen with curiosity. In listening to others speak, we hear the words that are coming out of their mouths; however, our thoughts are consumed with responding to what they are saying. In this, once again we are focusing on our words rather than the words of the person we are talking with. To learn 10 Steps to Effective Listening, visit http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/.

  1. Are the words that I am about to speak wise?

When listening to respond as opposed to listening attentively, we may speak unwise words that are driven more of emotion rather than pausing to think through what we want to say. The tone of my voice and non verbals are sometimes heard louder than the actual words that we speak. When speaking with wisdom, I seek both to understand and to be understood. Wise words can come from personal experiences, from others’ wisdom, from the Holy Spirit, and from reading the Word of God. Our words are powerful. Let us think before we speak and put ourselves in the other person’s shoes in responding and reacting.

  1. What and how am I giving?

For those who need words of affirmation to feel loved, you can instruct them by first complimenting them on what they did right and then focusing on the areas for improvement. For those loved through acts of service, you can instruct others by showing them how to do something as opposed to simply telling them what to do. For those who enjoy gifts, you can offer a gift for following through on instructions. For those who value quality time, you can instruct them by working alongside the person. Finally, for those who love physical touch, you can offer a handshake or hug as you see appropriate following the instruction or conversation. To discover your love language, visit http://www.5lovelanguages.com.

Whether at home or on your job, I challenge you this week to ask yourself these 3 questions before you speak.

  1. Am I doing all the talking?
  2. Are the words that I am about to speak wise?
  3. What and how am I giving?

Depending on your response, seek to listen, to speak wisely, and to give. Understand that change takes time; however, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.

Drop a comment below about what you have pulled from this post, and what maybe you have dealt with in the past!


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